Monday, 3 September 2007

Please don't bomb us Mr. Bush!

August 30, 2007

George W. Bush
President of the United States of America
The White House
Washington, DC

Dear Mr. President,

I wish to inform you of a recent, potentially deadly flashpoint in Alberta, Canada; to plead for your understanding; and respectfully request that you do not bomb us.

On August 28, 2007 Energy Alberta applied to build a nuclear power plant on the Peace River in Alberta.

Knowing how dead set you are against Iran, North Korea and other stupid governments building nuke power plants, I hope you would understand Alberta's proposed plant is for peaceful purposes only. In fact, this nuke would actually help your own economy considerably. It would be used to extract oil from the tar sands.

So it would be kind of dumb if you were to nuke it before this marvel of technology could be put to good use.

Even without a PhD in Nuclear Physics, the concept is simple enough for most to understand.

Mine a whole bunch of Uranium in open pits in Saskatchewan.

Make a controlled chain reaction in a nuclear pile in Alberta with a temperature of a thousand degrees.

Use the heat to turn water into super-hot steam (a several hundred degrees) to clean the oil out of the tarry sand.

Use the local lakes and rivers to keep the nuclear pile cool so it doesn't overheat and go critical.

And then bury the radioactive waste in Ontario.

All the left over tar and pollution will run north toward the arctic, where there's only a handful of people anyway.

And you get all the oil!

Since Canada is self-admittedly, at best, a loose confederation of shopping centers, you should be able to get the oil real cheap, and even pay in US dollars.

Please appreciate Mr. President that we are building this nuclear power plant for you and we're doing everything possible to be your friend and good neighbor. Please do not bomb us.

The People of the Peace River country

They don't call it the Peace River for nothing

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Ollie Onions said...

An interesting read... you are obviously an intelligent person.

Stephen Rees said...

I cannot take credit for this

It clearly states at the bottom that it is a netletter from

He is the intelligent person. All I am doing is spreading the word