Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Chips or Fries

Chips are British. Cut from whole potatoes: big, fat, square in cross section

Fries are American. Thin, made from reconstituted mashed potatoes

Pommes frites are French - look like fries but taste like heaven

I favour the "Molecular Gastronomy" method: The potatoes must be planted in soil constructed thus - 52% moon dust and 40% fine Turkish mountain topsoil. The remaining 8% doesn't matter. The potatoes should be sandpapered, not peeled, using a fine-gauge paper and in complete darkness. Any light at this stage and it's tits-up. Immerse the potatoes ( for between 12 and 42 minutes) in sparkling mineral water, but not Perrier, which has been boiled and cooled 4 times and then filtered through marble. Dry them on pink denim. Heat the mustard oil, which must be Tesco's, to 24.54 celcius and, using a letter opener, "chip" the spuds. Fry for a fortnight, increasing the oil temperature by 0.05 celcius every six hours until golden and tasty.
Posted by uncleleo on September 25, 2007 12:20 PM.

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